[He went silent for a beat, rubbing at his eyes, then gave his head a hard shake.]

I found out at Sasuke's birthday party. The one right after you got here. I was told by someone who that person I supposedly become in the future had personally killed Kushina-nee.

Before that I thought I'd died and I'd been more than happy knowing I'd died a good death, a worthy death for people I love. I didn't tell you when you asked right after that. I wanted to, but I was afraid you'd do exactly what you did, only I didn't think it would be as bad, because I didn't believe I'd ever hurt you.

But then you said I would, and threw a possibility in my face, and I don't want to understand it, okay. It's stupid and that plan is stupid and the whole thing is terrible. [He sank down to the grass, pressing his back against a tree, leaning over the gear and staring down into it, taking off his goggles and dropping them to the side.]

I don't want to be that person, and I tried to keep it to myself, but I thought even if it was terrible it would still be okay to tell you.